LeBron James turns retirement tease into a joke, but some NBA fans probably aren’t in a laughing mood

Growing up, John Elway was my guy. He was my first true sports hero. As a teenager living in 49ers and Raiders country and in a world predating the NFL Ticket, I would drive an hour to my grandparents’ house in the woods, which had satellite, to watch Broncos games every Sunday. It was a major part of my formative years. I swear a part of me died with every one of those Super Bowl losses. 

When we finally won it all in 1997, I was euphoric. And I don’t say that word lightly. I’m talking on top of the effing world. Elway’s helicopter lunge for the first down on what proved to be the game-winning drive. The fist pump to the sideline. To this day, hardly a week passes that I don’t watch that highlight. I felt, and feel, connected to Elway in every way that a fan can honestly claim connection to someone they’ve never met. 

I say all of this, in turn, to the millions of LeBron James fans who thought this whole “Second Decision” social media campaign was going to end with him announcing his retirement, or at least his plan to retire following this season, on Tuesday: I get it. I went through the same thing when Elway’s potential retirement was looming over the 1998 offseason, following the Broncos’ second straight Super Bowl win. This was before social media. It was agonizing waiting for the word to drop. 

I remember Elway went on one of the late-night shows and said he’d made a big decision. My stomach sank, only for him to reveal that he had decided to switch out his golf irons for another brand. I didn’t find it funny. 

Turns out, LeBron did the branding thing, too. It was kind of creative, I suppose. Everything was made to look like a spitting-image sequel to James’ infamous 2010 “Decision” to take his talents to South Beach, which was aired live with a damn-near Watergate level of intrigue. 

He did the whole dance. Wore almost the exact same striped shirt. Sat across from a (still unidentified) reporter in a gymnasium. And proceeded to announce that he was taking his talents to … Hennessey?

Surely this “reveal” was received differently by different people. Many LeBron fans are relieved. Many more LeBron haters couldn’t wait to mock this as his latest display of lameness. To the latter group, get off your high horse. If you had the chance to make the kind of money LeBron is undoubtedly set to make from this partnership just to have a little fun with a commercial shoot, you’d do it in a heartbeat. We all would. Save the self-righteous stuff. 

That said, there are some real potential losers in this deal. When LeBron teased this “Second Decision” business on Monday, as speculation soared that he might really be announcing his last dance, ticket prices for the Lakers‘ last home game of this upcoming season — an April 12 date with the Utah Jazz — shot through the roof. You can bet there were a lot of suckers who felt compelled to secure seats.

It’s essential to note that all is not necessarily lost for these individuals. LeBron could very well still announce that this is his last season at some point. In 2015, Kobe Bryant waited until almost December to drop the news that he would be playing his final season, and from there it became a retirement tour that ended with an epic 60-point showing in his last game against … the Utah Jazz. 

Just saying. 

At any rate, in hindsight, it does seem unlikely that LeBron, as calculated a self promoter as you’ll find, would be inclined to cloud the celebration of his retirement announcement with a cheesy harkening to one of the cheesiest moments in sports history. It was actually pretty smart and self aware of LeBron to bring that 2010 Decision back into the conversation in a laughable light. That whole thing has turned into a joke. Might as well keep it that way and at least portray the image of a guy who’s willing to laugh at his past. 

Personally, I don’t have much stock in when or how LeBron announces his retirement beyond the fact that it will keep us busy in the world of basketball content. I’ve never felt a connection to LeBron in that way, even though I fully believe he’s the best basketball player to have ever lived. I’m a Steph Curry guy. When it comes time for Curry to potentially hang it up, I’ll definitely be interested in whatever social-media tease he sends out, though I don’t think Curry is the type to handle it that way. 

But LeBron has a history of wanting to keep the attention on him, and this “I might retire” card is one he can, and probably will, continue to play. But one of these days — hell, maybe it will be tomorrow, or next week — he has to do it finally. And when that day comes, it won’t be a joking matter for a lot of people.